Friday, February 18, 2011

Is This Being Recorded For Quality Assurance?

I’m fortunate enough to be in a critique group with two of my best friends. I love these women. When it comes to writing, they are the wind beneath my wings, the ice in my diet coke, the ketchup on my mac and cheese. I rely on them to steer me in the right direction and to scream and shout when I’m not. We have a system, and our system works.
For the last year, things have been rolling smoothly. Then along came a nasty four-letter word: B-L-O-G.
That’s right, blog. Our free flowing creative brains are now full of muck. No more plotting discussions or writing exercises. The grand stories we’ve toiled over for months are collecting dust because of hopping, tweeting, and following. You’d think these ladies might feel resentful with all this blogging business, but they are like little girls at a slumber party, giggling and plotting.
No one’s safe from my blogging friends.
With phone in hand to take an easy picture or send a quick tweet, these women are blog ready. Their eyes search any room they inhabit for that one subject worthy of a new post. They listen in on conversations, awaiting a juicy tidbit in some poor sap’s life that will get a chuckle. A funny sign in a restroom or an embarrassing moment in a family member’s past. Nothing is off limits as long as names can be changed to protect the oblivious.
I’m not immune either. After telling one of them, who we’ll call “Unfortunate Mary,” about a problem with a friend, I knew I wouldn’t be safe again.
“I’m worried about a friend of mine,” I said during one of our early morning chats. “She’s having intense breast pain.”
“Does she think it's cancer?” Concern filled Unfortunate Mary’s voice.
“She read somewhere that too much caffeine causes pain and swelling in breast tissue, so she’s not worried about it.”
There was a long pause on the other end of the phone, which should’ve clued me in.
“Swelling, huh?” She paused again. “Hmmm. Interesting.”
I knew by the tone in her voice that Unfortunate Mary had a plan—a blogging plan. She’d already posted about the lack of curves in her upper body and the pitfalls of wearing a training bra as an adult.
“How much caffeine do you think is too much?” she asked.
“Are you kidding me? It causes pain.”
“But it could be a really funny experiment and depending on the swelling . . . ”
I finally managed to dissuade Unfortunate Mary, although I heard she has a fancy new coffee maker.

Are you an obsessed blogger too? Do you have a little notebook stashed away just in case you discover a new post idea? Is your phone chirping from the new emails/tweets on your iPhone at all hours of the day?  ;) 


Henya said...

Speaking of BLOG, what a great one this is. Made me smile. Loved the dialogue.

Susan Fields said...

Hi fellow crusader!

I can totally relate to trying to turn every subject into a blog post - seems like my mind's always going there. I haven't ventured into Twitter-Land though - the blog is enough to keep me on my toes right now!

Susan Schreyer said...

Hi Fellow Crusader! Love the humor & dialog in your blog. I hope your friend --okay both of them!! -- are well!

Talli Roland said...

I'm kind of a more 'let it flow' type of blogger. I don't plan posts - I just sit down and write whatever comes to mind! Of course that often leads to a lot of rubbish... :)

Elisabeth Hirsch said...

This "Unfortunate Mary" person sounds fantastic . . . like a fairy! That's funny she got a coffee maker. It must be a Keurig. I bet she's going to have a double D pretty quick. I'll say a prayer for her and her potato launcher.

Tracy said...

Okay, so I didn't quite make it as number 100. I will try not to let 101 bother me, even though it's an odd number and I have a disdain for odd numbers. I mean, they're called odd for a reason.

Congrats on the milestone!

Susan Oloier said...

It is so true how blogging and Twitter can infringe on manuscript writing time and discussions.
I used to be in a writer's group with a friend, then she moved away. Then it wasn't so worthwhile anymore. So glad you still have yours.

Anonymous said...

HA HA.... remind me to stay away from the C word.

At times, I do jot things down when I think it's "blog worthy".

E.J. Wesley said...

See you made 100! :0)

Anonymous said...

Hello fellow crusader, that is absolutely hilarious!!!

Margo Kelly said...

Fellow crusader and new follower. Hi!

Julie Musil said...

Oh, this is funny! Yep, have little pieces of paper with blog ideas. I love visiting writer blogs and spend too much time doing it. But aren't we like one giant therapy group? What's not to love about that?

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Evoluchun's Miscellaneous

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mi3centsworth said...

Yes, blogging has consumed my entire world. I have notebooks full of my writing and it wasn't until I started blogging that I've almost totally ignored my pen and pad. I'm not saying I'm gonna get rid of my pad and pens (I just bought a new pack of colored gel pens and dying to use them) but I've definitely been doing less actual writing and more typing. Having followers helps keep me typing daily.