When I was younger, I liked to think of myself as a smart girl. I loved to have in depth, intellectual conversations with my friends, who were all much older than I was. But after having kids and staying home to raise them for nearly eight years, my smarts have all but vanished, along with my muscle tone and my patience.
I went to a dinner recently with a group of people, most of who did not have children, and found myself thinking I was a complete idiot. I mmmhmm'd and nodded, channeling my best Sydney Bristow. I was someone else. Not me. Someone smarter and worldly. But my mission wasn't so successful.
While they discuss the impact of extinction on our environment, I think about this sort of extinction:
Or maybe this is more my style:
They drink wine and fancy schmancy teas, while I’ve been known to:
Okay, that’s not totally true, sometimes I prefer this:
While they discuss politics, I think about this:
While they share their fine dining favorites of seafood and specially rubbed beef, I imagine my own fancy seafood diner:
They discuss books like this:
While my favorite book remains this:
They discuss television shows I’ve never heard about because this is the show I watched last:
So, my goal is to get a bit of my old self back (or the illusion of). Be a little more like this:
Wait a minute. . .
8 comments:
hah, I use to have thoughts like that and fears of not being able to hold an intellectual conversation with others but now, I accept the fact that I'm more of a 'heart-felt' conversationalist and I prefer to talk about issues of the soul-not intellect.
Wow, your comment now makes me think that I lack some intellect and soul. hahaha. just kidding...sort of
Loved this post. I recently tried to read some classic (heavy and involved) novels I have had on my list for a very long time and I couldn't do it. I felt horrible. I looked at what I used to read and what I read now and they are NOT the same. I finally realized it's not my fault (I'll stand by that) I have two toddlers. Most of my reading time is in five minute increments when I've locked myself in the bathroom. I just can't get into the classics like I used to. There will be a time in my life when I can return to those type books for now I need to stick with slightly lighter reading.
Lol, Vote for Pedro.
Oh, I remember that well, when my children were young and I had to attend posh dinners with my husband, hoping the coverstaion would remain superficial. And my inadequate feelings didn't leave me until I starting studying with the Open University for my degrees (from home, plus tutorials) - I was still me but my brain had kicked into life again!
That last shot made me chuckle, of course. Not to worry, all your special and colourful way of thinking means is that you're a writer. :D
S.P. Bowers: Definitely not your fault. That's what kids are there for...to blame. lol. I think moms just need sleep.
Rosemary: I just can't imagine you feeling this way. You always have such great things to post and say.
J.L.: Thanks. I'd like to think so.
Thanks for commenting.
Very fun post! Perfect illustrations... except for the last one. I had to hold up my hand and block her face. ;-) Ha! Thanks for sharing.
Great post! I feel stupid in a different way when I'm around people IRL. They talk about PTA politics while I think about that plot hole I'm trying to close. They sing I'm sexy and I know it with their kids, my kids and I sing French children's songs or the Wiggles. You've gotta be who you are and not worry about anyone else.
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