Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Look, Shiny! Secrets Revealed



Most bloggers know about the blog awards hopping around. Well, not too long ago, I got a Versatile Blogger Award (Thank you to Romy Gemmell Check her out. She's great!). I’ve been so busy getting my house ready to sell that I had to put them aside. So even though it’s been a bit since my blogging friend hooked me up, I wanted to give her a shout out and participate. If the Versatile Blogger Award is like the Stylish variety, then I’m supposed to tell about myself—seven things. I guess I’ll just fill in the blanks where I left off from my blog award Stylin’ and Profilin’ where I revealed seven things you may not know. Here's the new:
1.    After dodging the zombies and hooking up with Charlie Sheen and WINNING, I met the love of my life. Who wouldn’t love this fella. Tall, reddish hair, brooding, and gor-ge-ous! I knew I had to meet him, and thankfully, my clumsy ol’ feet made it easy. I stumbled into my love on my way into my new school and felt heat rush through me. Not from him, he was colder than a vanilla pudding pop and just as pale.

2.    My new man and I were going strong except he wouldn’t give it up to me, and lordy, lordy I wanted it. I couldn’t control myself around him. He was too damn perfect for me to follow his no touchy rule. Soon, I hooked up with a new pal of mine because he was lookin’ good too, and I was a silly teenager who eats a crazy amount of scrambled eggs. It was weird ‘cause my buddy was so hot to the touch and always wandered around without his shirt on, but when you gots a bazillion abs who wouldn’t.

3.     It’s really weird what happened next ‘cause I’m such a whiny girl and I can’t fathom how anyone could or would fall for me, let alone two men—well, one man (sort of) and one . . . uh, canine-like guy. So they were growling and flashing their teeth for me while I found more trouble, hurt myself some more, ate more eggs, said stupid stuff, and whined a lot. Who wouldn’t love me, right? (insert doe eyed look here)

4.    As much as I liked having two hotties chasing after me, I couldn’t choose between them. Who could? I knew I needed help. I needed the one person who could take the sunrise and sprinkle it with dew. I needed the candy man.

5.    I was in luck when I found some coinage in the street and I bought a Wonkabar and found the golden ticket. I looked up to the chocolate factory, the billowing smoke wafting from the stacks, and knew Mr. Wonka would help me choose between the two most important men/creatures in my life.

6.    Unfortunately, my plan exploded in my face—quite literally—when I tripped and knocked a few oompa loompas into the everlasting gobstopper machine and caused a fire. Mr. Wonka forgave me considering I promised not to tell Ol’ Sluggworth about the secret recipe to the candy that would change the world. It was at that moment when I knew which dude I wanted, plus I wanted more eggs so I had to get out of the factory.

7.    Mr. Wonka took me up in the glass elevator and we flew through the sky in search for my sparkly lover boy. Tragedy struck again, when the elevator crashed into water. We were sinking fast with no way out, thankfully, I stashed a bottle of Double Bubble Burp-a-cola and we were able to float our way back to the surface where more trouble waited. A crazy-haired woman named Bellatrix snatched the candyman and me into her boat and drove the tip of her wand into my throat. “Where’s the Sword of Gryffindore?” she asked. “I don’t know anything about a Sword from a Griffin’s whore,” I replied (insert more doe eyes). That didn’t satisfy the freakshow and she threw me and Willie into a dungeon to await someone she called the Dark Lord. I’m just hoping he has a bazillion abs too.
I guess the rest will have to wait until my next award. Thanks again and check out some blogs I love to stalk.

7 comments:

Angela Scott said...

Very creative, Diana. I love your take on the 7 things about yourself. Entertaining and completely true. It's amazing.

psst...I like to stalk you too.

Rosemary Gemmell said...

That was very entertaining, Diana, and I love your creativity! Thank you for mentioning me so kindly.

Elisabeth Hirsch said...

I laughed really hard when I got to the everlasting gobstopper machine! Oh and I like how you're "Winning" with Charlie. I want to "win" with Charlie too LOL! I hope you'll get an award a day--I love these stories.

Craziness abounds said...

lol are you smoking crack while you are moving? Love it! just the kind of nonsense I love to read! Thanks for being so supportive on my blog of late! I needed those words of encouragment. Wonder Woman I am not. Mighty Mouse? Maybe haha. Seriously though this post is awsome!

Craziness abounds said...

So crazy and busy woman! I have to tell you... tag your it! If you want to know what I mean go check out my blog.

Tracy said...

Seriously, I don't think I've ever completely read someone's answers to one of these blogger awards...until today!! Hilarious.

Oh, you're an absolute idiot for not choosing the warm, canine-like guy with the killer abs. I'm just sayin.

Leslie Rose said...

I'm still laughing at your seven things. I'd have to cast my vote for canine-guy.